Online dating coaches often tell you that there is a magic opening line for hookup sites. These online conversation starters will help you get past the crowd and get a response from your potential partner. Over 18 years of helping singles succeed in online dating have taught me that the same lines keep popping up.
There is no perfect line. Why? The idea that you’re using a line doesn’t mean you are engaging with the person that you want to get to know. They are simply trying to win you over. This makes you a salesperson in an environment where people don’t want to feel sold to. Let’s look at the opening lines relationship coaches, and dating experts tell their clients to guarantee they get a response to their first message via dating or hookup apps.
- “What is your favorite Sunday morning activity?” Do you prefer to sleep in, do your chores, or go out for brunch?
This seems to be a very harmless line for the best hookup site. This line is better than the original line by the expert, which was “It’s Sunday morning. Are you sleeping in, having brunch at the girls or doing laundry?”. This line may be familiar to you if you’re a man who’s ever searched for advice on dating conversation starters. It’s almost certain that you have heard this line at least once if you are a female. To keep up with the latest trends in online dating, we post female profiles on dating apps. This message was received 23 times in 90 days.
This line is unlikely to impress the average online dating woman. It assumes many things about the target and needs evidence that they have read their profile. This line could be sent to anyone, but it won’t make any connection with anyone. You may get a reply if a woman is new to this line and likes your profile and photos. Now imagine what she will think about you if you are the second, fifth, 10th, or 20th person to send this line. How likely do you think you will get a reply?
- “I am sorry that it took us so long to find one another, but let’s make up the difference and begin the rest of our lives together.”
I used this line to help a client who had previously paid several thousand dollars. While we cannot deny his poor advice, the coach had him use a greenscreen to pretend he was on stage for a speaking engagement.
Why shouldn’t a line like this work on the best hookup sites? It’s simple. It’s simple. It sounds like every other number gamer is trying to get as many dates as possible until they find something that works. It’s not intelligent and the same garbage people used in bars in the 80s and 1990s.
- “I’m heading to Whole Foods. Can I pick you up something for later?”
Here’s a rule of thumb: If a conversation starter or line is presented to you and you find it clever, remember that many others may have seen it. Many, if not hundreds of thousands, saw the same line and had the same idea. This line is sent to only some. It is optional that you are the first to send the message to the person you wish to connect with.
How to Create Successful Dating App Messages Without Online Dating Conversation Starters
No online dating conversation starters or magic words will work every time. However, one strategy has worked better than any other in nearly 20 years of helping singles find love online. It’s easy and should take at most 2 minutes. Follow these simple steps:
Refrain from convincing people that you are worthy of their attention. Instead, get the conversation started. Opening messages can feel like a sales pitch. When it comes to finding love, people don’t like being sold to. They desire to feel a connection.
You should base your message on the words of the person, not their photos. A message about a person’s photo is just a way to tell them you look at them and think they are beautiful. When you write a message that is based on someone’s words, it makes them feel more connected to them.
Ask a question. A question is the best way to get started in a conversation. Ask them a question about something you find attractive in their profile. You will only get a yes/yes answer if you ask a question that is either yes or no. You should not ask a yes/any question if you don’t see anything that interests you. While you should be attracted by everyone you contact, you shouldn’t just reach out because they seem hot. It can be something other than a numbers game.
It is important to remember that messaging is an essential part of online dating success. However, if your profile and photos aren’t helping you make an excellent first impression, it won’t matter how well you send your first message.